New York City – Jen Eowynir Fiction. http://frigidimmortals.com If they say that 350K+ words Frigid Immortals trilogy you wrote is "just" a Loki fanfic, tell them this: "You ridiculous "real" literature gatekeeping bureaucrats will not determine how my fave's story ends." Mon, 13 Dec 2021 09:06:55 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.2 https://i0.wp.com/frigidimmortals.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/cropped-tricky-minds-logo-4.jpg?fit=32%2C32 New York City – Jen Eowynir Fiction. http://frigidimmortals.com 32 32 186822614 NEON CH 3 http://frigidimmortals.com/neon-ch3-moonroof-serotonin/ http://frigidimmortals.com/neon-ch3-moonroof-serotonin/#comments Thu, 29 Jul 2021 01:50:00 +0000 http://frigidimmortals.com/?p=1471

MOONROOF SEROTONIN

NEON DAYDREAMS CHAPTER THREE

~1:00 am, Thursday, January 5, 2017 ~

Reaching blindly across her pillows to get another tissue from her bedside table, Sigyn turned the page in her newest book purchase. This was it—the last page of Starboy.  In the next twenty seconds, the thrill of the first readthrough would be over. Sitting cross-legged here on her bed at one in the morning when she should be sleeping, she would finish Loki’s first novel, and it would absolutely crush her.

“Ugh, I’m not ready,” she whined, grabbing the whole box because one measly tissue would not suffice. She yanked it angrily through the thin plastic opening, frowning down at the now empty container.

Apparently, after shelling out fifty bucks of hard-earned cash for the gorgeous hardcover copy in the village yesterday, she should have swung by the CVS on Mulberry Street to buy another Kleenex box. Swiping the back of her hand across her wet cheeks, Sigyn tossed the useless empty thing haphazardly over her shoulder, then returned her eyes to the legitimately tear-stained page. Voice shaking, she read the written words aloud.

“I learned to lower my expectations to null quite some time ago, and now I don’t risk disappointment,” she paused, rubbing her watery eyes to clear her blurry vision, then took a deep breath. “It’s the best thing I ever did.  I still do it.  It’s called being present.  And presently, I want to find that girl.” Sniffle, wipe nose, deep breaths, get it together. “She may be right under my nose,” she continued, imagining Loki’s voice speaking the words, “or she might be on the other side of this train. Maybe her stop is Canal Street, just like mine.”  She paused again, her face crumpling.

Could one cry in little hearts instead of tears?  She felt like a damn cartoon character— an animated parody of a girl gone stupid for a boy.  Each word born from this unreal man was another piece of lead blasting through her chest, turning her heart and lungs into a bloody mess for him.

Wiping her eyes again, Sigyn continued reading, “Never doubt the beauty of smoke.  It hides a myriad of ugly flaws…”

She trailed off and put her face in her hands, her voice too hoarse from crying to read aloud anymore. Loki had used this “smoke” metaphor throughout the book. She was convinced this meant that the lead character’s existence was all smoke and mirrors, an apt illustration for this man who, 310 pages later, Loki still hadn’t given a name. He seemed almost like…a specter. A ghost of himself. A nameless starboy. A dying star.

Talk about a haunting theme; she wouldn’t even get the closure of knowing what name would go on the headstone. Lifting her head again, she ran both hands through her hair, tempted to pull it out from the extreme frustration. She just wanted to hear this guy say that his name was Loki, for hell’s sake.

Chest heaving, she sighed heavily.  When she had the pleasure of seeing Loki again eons from now on Saturday night, she would ask him what the guy’s name was.  Otherwise, she would continue literally reading into this starboy fellow, and seeing him as this smoky, vaporous shadow-self of the author. Setting her elbows on her knees, she leaned her weight on them, then picked the book up and flipped it over.

“Fuck, I love the way he writes,” she said, gazing at his picture on the back cover, unaware that she was biting her lip. This book had made her massive crush on him so much more unbearable.

Shaking her head, she flipped it over again, and silently read the last two paragraphs— 

Foot on the gas, sixth gear, 0 to 60, heart rate through that moonroof, I don’t know where the hell we’re going, but… Feel like burning rubber with me, gorgeous girl?  I caught you biting your lip when I pulled up to your building in these blacked out, ultra-expensive, custom-made wheels.  I’m a mess, but I swear you’ll love me.  I’ll take you on the ride of your life.  You’re too smart and far too well-read for me to teach you much of anything, but if you will just get in this goddamn car, I’ll show you how to live fast and die right.

“Oh, my word, Loki Odinson, you did not end it like that!” Sigyn shouted at her bedroom walls, slamming the book shut and bending forward to bury her face in her pillow. She needed moooore. How dare he ask her to get in the car, and just…just…leave the rest to her imagination?! “Oh, fuck no, boy.”

Growling like an extra deranged 28-year-old gremlin, she grabbed her phone and pulled up her previous messages with him.  She furiously tapped out a quick text and sent it without hesitation.

Sigyn:  Listen up, hotshot, this is an emergency situation. Starboy just gave me SERIOUS lady blue balls. Loki Odinson, you are literally the devil.

She doubted he would respond any time soon.  It was absurdly late, and presumably he was smart enough to silence his phone before bed.  However, if he had left the sound on for some highly irrational reason, then he deserved to be woken up from his precious slumber because he’d done this to her.

Angrily switching her lamp off, she flopped back onto the bed and groaned, too amped up to sleep. Certainly, scrolling through Instagram would just stimulate her brain further, but if her thoughts were already running 90 miles an hour to a certain writer’s apartment, then why not just moon over him on his @Lokiswriting account? There were several pics from inside his place, so even though she hadn’t been there in real life, she had a pretty good idea of the floorplan; it thrilled her architect brain to no end. His place was almost as gorgeous as him. Almost

After a few minutes of starry-eyed gawking, she checked her text screen again because she couldn’t help herself. She scowled at the screen. The message had been delivered, but unsurprisingly, he hadn’t read it.

Rolling her eyes, she sighed, annoyed with herself for letting even a sliver of hope wiggle its way into her head. She set her thumb on the power button to shut the whole thing down because it had let her down, but then something positively glorious appeared beneath her text.

Read 1:22 AM

Instantly, her lungs forgot how to breathe. Her jaw dropped, gaping at the screen like a dehydrated desert-traveler who’d just spotted running water for the first time in two days. Curling into a ball, she shoved her face into the pillow to stifle a dramatic whine.

So, he’d read her text—not exactly a star-aligning event. He’d only checked his messages because he’d forgotten to silence his phone, and thought someone had a legit emergency, only to discover it was just some crazy girl being weird as hell. Face still in her pillow, she whined again, this time from sheer embarrassment. Guaranteed, she would be left on read for several hours, which was so much worse. Despite herself, Sigyn lifted her head to look at the screen again…just in case.

Loki:  ...

“EEEEK!” she shrieked, her eyes nearly popping out of their sockets.  She shot upright and jumped off her bed, launching into a preemptive victory dance. 

“Calm down, calm down, calm down,” she hissed at herself, bouncing on her toes.

She threw her free hand over her mouth.  Her neighbors probably hated her for being so bloody loud tonight, what with all the whining and extremely vocal book commentary.  Never had a simple ellipsis sent her serotonin through the roof.  They’d gone out twice—Twice! —yet here he was, reading her dumbass text at an ungodly hour and not even making her wait three minutes for a reply?!  How he was able to pull this off without coming across as overeager, she would never know. Guys did not behave like this unless sex was a guaranteed outcome. She looked sideways then.

Wait a second, what if he thought my text was just the longer version of DTF?

Her lips pursing, she raised an eyebrow. She hadn’t meant it that way, but…sure, that too. She checked the screen again.

Loki:  …

Gritting her teeth, she growled under her breath, “For the love of everything, stop teasing me!”

Her patience idled at paper thin levels even at the best of times; this waiting game might genuinely break her brain.  His reply appeared in the conversation window that second, sparing her from a spontaneous accidental lobotomy, and her mouth fell into an open smile as she read through his long response, complete with full sentences, correct spelling, and everything. 

Loki:  Well hell. Look who it is. Sigyn Elena Frey. I was overjoyed to see your name on my phone. Emphasis on the word WAS. Listen, I will not stand for these unjust accusations. I do not recall FORCING you to read my book. Were you unaware of the associated risks? Critics suggested the FDA should’ve slapped a black box warning on the cover due to the overwhelmingly high rate of lethal blows that Starboy… ahem… thrusted…upon readers’ reproductive systems. All things considered, I’m glad you read it, and thank you for the impassioned review. Oh, and one more thing- did you intend to say that I am literally a *handsome* devil? Surely, you simply forgot to type that extremely relevant qualifying adjective? Oh, gorgeous girl, were you too flustered by your emergency situation to express yourself properly?

“If he calls me gorgeous girl one more time, he’s paying for my funeral,” Sigyn sighed, shivers shooting down her spine as her mind rocketed to heights far above a neon-lit concrete jungle.  Hands shaking as though she’d downed five espresso shots in one minute, she barely managed to type a reply.

Sigyn:  I didn’t expect you to be awake.
Loki:  I wasn’t. You woke me up, ma’am.

“Ma’am?” she snorted, oddly hearing his voice say that in an American southern accent.

Sigyn:  You could have put your phone on silent, SIR.
Loki: …

The ellipses disappeared, then reappeared, then disappeared again. She chewed her lip, the back and forth screwing with her head.  Maybe her tone had been too sarcastic.  Maybe she should call him instead.  Or facetime? 

Loki:  Okay, you can’t just throw that word around.

Head tilting, she pursed her lips, slightly confused.

Sigyn:  Which word?
Loki:  Please avoid calling me “sir” outside of extremely specific contexts.

A slow smirk spread across her face. “Ohhhhh, kink plot twist,” she cooed, more than a little interested to get the details concerning his specific contexts.  

Sigyn:  please elaborate

“You have the right to remain silent, sir,” she said, still smirking, “because everything you disclose from this point forward can and will be used against you in a bedroom, sir.”  

Loki:  And give you the upper hand? I think bloody not.

“Dammit,” she sighed, clucking her tongue, “plan foiled.”

Sigyn:  smart boy
Loki:  Obviously.
Sigyn:  With one exception...you don’t silence your phone at night.
Loki:  Of course, I silence my phone, woman. I still get alerts from favorite contacts.

Her eyes widened for a split second before becoming unbelievably heavy.  She blinked slowly, glowing from the inside out, floating above her body in a drug-like haze.

Sigyn:  You added me to your favorites list? I feel so special.
Loki:  Maybe I lied. Maybe I’m not even awake. Maybe I’m just sleep-texting. 

Squinting at the words, she raised an eyebrow. “Do what?” She read it again, then laughed out loud.

Sigyn:  My dyslexic brain read that as leep sexting.
Loki:  Sexting? After only two dates? That would indeed be quite a leap.

“For the love, stop being so cute,” she whispered, smiling at her phone.

Sigyn:  Nice pun. Perhaps “leep” sexting is an actual thing.
Loki:  I believe that’s called Tinder, gorgeous girl.

“There he goes again,” she sighed, the warm glow in her stomach getting warmer, turning her insides to liquid sunshine. “Shit, I am literally getting high off of this man.” 

Sigyn:  Okay I REALLY need you to stop calling me that 😍
Loki:  Hell no, woman. This is clearly a winning strategy.

Closing her eyes, she grinned, unsure which type of high best described her present reality. Drunk? Doped up? Rolling? Tripping? Post-climax oxytocin rush? All five at once? No matter what, the FDA should slap a black box warning on Loki himself— 

WARNING: ADDICTION.

Sigyn:  you can stop because you already won. Congratulations
Loki:  Is that so? Does it then follow that I’ll receive an award?

She bit into a smile, practically feeling the horns sprouting from the top of her head.

Sigyn:  Depends. What do you want? A hug?
Loki:  You must be joking. Call me greedy, but I would prefer that you offer more than the ONLY thing we’ve already done, Sig.

Seeing him shorten her name like that, she let out a quiet little whine, imagining his voice saying it right now. No one else had ever called her Sig. It had slipped from his mouth at Fanelli’s, and it sounded so…right. Given that he had not switched back to her full name since then, he must have sensed that she really liked it. Climbing back onto her bed, she sat on her ankles, and stared out her window, thinking of the way Sig rolled off his tongue.

Unsurprisingly, she couldn’t help but fixate on that “rolled off his tongue” phrase. It was downright criminal that his tongue still hadn’t rolled against hers. Her ego was trapped in cope mode, pointing out that he grabbed her hand at each turn, and that his hugs were basically foreplay, for god’s sake, forcing her to arch her spine and mold herself against him for at least ten seconds. He’d even slid his hand up into her hair when he hugged her last night after their dinner date, and if that move wasn’t erotic, she didn’t know what was.  Her phone buzzed in her palm, and she dropped her eyes to the new message in their conversation.

Loki:  Fair warning- what I want necessarily requires extremely close physical contact.

Mouth falling open, Sigyn’s heart took off faster than a formula-one car. She stared at the screen, waiting for the details. However, ten seconds passed and still nothing, not even an ellipsis. Making a face, she flung up her hands. That was it? Really? She bent forward, banging her forehead softly into the bedcover.

“Evil man,” she growled through her teeth, then sat up and gathered her hair in one hand to pull it up off her neck. Someone must have cranked the radiator to the eternal-lake-of-fire setting.  She should expect nothing less while texting with a self-proclaimed handsome devil.

Sigyn:  Well what is it?

“Guess this is what it means to sweat like a sinner in church,” she complained, hurrying to her window to crack it. When she set her chin on the sill, reveling in the heaven-sent cold air, his answer appeared.

Loki:  I’ll tell you on Saturday, gorgeous girl.

“WHAT?!” she scoffed at the screen, angrily typing a reply as the excited butterflies in her stomach turned into a swarm of unbearably thirsty, buzzing bees.

Sigyn:  WRITERS AND THEIR GODDAMN CLIFFHANGERS

Dragging both hands down her face, she groaned.

Loki:  Sweet dreams, Sig. x

Rolling her eyes, she turned her phone off and threw it on her bed.  She would not dignify his devious little teasing game with a response.


~ 9:27 am, Saturday, January 7, 2017 ~

One hand on the strap of his gym bag that he’d slung over his shoulder, Loki breezed through the glass doors of Falcon Fitness on the corner of Grand and Thompson.  The young woman behind the post-workout juice bar on his right looked up from her phone and flashed a bright smile as he walked past her.

“Killin it with the wayfarers as always, Prince Lo,” she half-mumbled, teeth still biting the straw in her green drink. “Sam and Bucky started without you ten minutes ago, just so you know.”

Spinning on his heel, Loki pulled his sunglasses down just enough to look at her over the bridge and walked backwards toward the weight racks where his friends—more like one friend and one trainer—were alternating bench presses.

“For the thousandth time, Chloe,” he sighed, shooting a playful glare at her, “I have a first name.” He pushed his glasses back up, then turned around and called to her over his shoulder, “Use it.”

“My bad, LO,” she said, waving a flippant hand at him before slurping loudly through the straw and focusing on her phone once more.

Loki rolled his eyes, walking toward the locker room door just beyond his gym mates.

“Nice work, JB,” he said, giving a thumbs up to Bucky who appeared to be dying on the bench while attempting to press an extremely heavy bar up off his chest.

“Hey…Lo…” Bucky grunted in response, barely managing to get the bar back onto the rack. He sat up, red-faced and breathing hard. “Sam’s ready to murder you.”

“Twenty. Seven. Damn. Minutes. Late.” Sam pointed out, grabbing a towel to wipe the sweat off the bench. He gestured for Bucky to get up so he could take his place. “This starboy right here-” he pointed to Loki “-is my only client who gets to pull this shit with me. Everyone else gets the boot.”

Pausing by the locker room entrance, Loki pushed his sunglasses up on top of his head. “I wonder if your generosity of spirit has anything to do with my uniquely generous financial support.” He shrugged one shoulder. “Probably unrelated. Be out in two.”

Laughing quietly, he disappeared into the locker room to put away his bag and jacket. He set his sunglasses on the top shelf in his locker, peeled his hooded sweatshirt over his head, and sank down on the teak bench between the rows of lockers, his back bowing as he set his elbows on his knees. His heels couldn’t stop bouncing for two bloody seconds, but sitting still was an impossible pipe dream this morning.  He was just far too amped up about seeing Sig tonight, every muscle and nerve ending twitching like he’d OD’ed on RedBull.

He could not get the specific image of his head between her legs out of his mind. If he closed his eyes, he could practically feel her fingers threading through his hair.

“Fuck,” he said through his teeth, putting his face in his hands.

His joggers were in no shape to handle those highly graphic images in public right now, and yet here he was, stupidly putting them in this unnecessary situation.  He’d almost called the gym to say that he wouldn’t make it today, and he highly regretted vetoing that decision just to appease the voice in his head telling him that missing a gym session “because anxiety” was objectively weak.

He hadn’t seen Sig since Tuesday because his sister Hela had come down from Boston for a few days. Fine fine fine. Four days between dates wasn’t anything to cry about.  Except of course for the near-nauseating building tension in his texts and short phone calls with this incredible new woman. To say that he ached to get his hands on her again, would literally be accurate.

He had not been mentally prepared to handle the days-long break from Sig. Hela had given him a 3-week heads up that she would be in town and staying with their folks down in Tribeca. Great! No problem! Sig would be at work anyway, so he could simply go to his parents’ place to hang out with his sister during the day, maybe grab lunch, or visit MOMA or something. Then he could still go out with gorgeous girl in the evening. Or if Hela wanted to get dinner, then he could possibly see Sig during her lunch break. It would have worked out just fine. However, his sister called him Tuesday night and begged to camp out at his place instead.

Serious family drama starring dad, as usual.  

He’d been at The Dutch up on Sullivan, jokingly arguing with Sig about paying for dinner again when suddenly Hela had just sprung this on him—calling him from the entrance of his building, crying over the phone and asking to come up to his apartment. Of course, he’d said a quick goodnight to his stunning date and hurried back to his place because that’s what any good brother would do.

Not that he didn’t love his sister, but she’d swept in to occupy his space when he’d planned to ask Sigyn to come back to his place. He wouldn’t have slept with Sig because that would have been a massive leap from point A to point Z, but good god, he wanted to kiss the hell out of her, and he couldn’t exactly do that inside the restaurant. The most he could have done was a peck on the lips.  Maintain decorum, closed mouths, three seconds max, absolutely no hip-touching.

“Not my style,” Loki mumbled to himself, lifting his head from his hands.

The locker room door swung open behind him then, its squeaky hinges pulling him from the edgy confines of his mind, and he turned to see Bucky walking in.

“Sam had to take a call,” Bucky said, gesturing at the door behind him, “and you passed your ‘be out in two’ time limit.  Everythin’ okay, man?”

Sucking in his cheeks, Loki looked away. “You know how you felt back in November when you first hooked up with Lewis?”

“Hooked up?” Bucky repeated, walking over to sit down on the opposite bench. “Darcy’s my girlfriend, not some fuck buddy.”

Loki gave him a withering look. “Thus, my use of the qualifying adverb first,” he droned.

Rolling his eyes, Bucky yanked his backwards ball cap off his head and whacked Loki’s knee with it. “Your qualifyin’ adverbs can go to hell,” he laughed, then put his hat on again. “You seein’ someone?”

Loki grinned slightly. “It’s still really early, but the connection is unreal.”

“You must be hallucinatin’ again.”

“If I am, then this is the best psychotic break of my life,” Loki answered, smiling when his friend snorted. “Honest to god dream girl.”

“Dream girl? Man, keep your crazy head on your shoulders,” Bucky said, then held his hands up. “Sorry. No offense about the crazy thing,” he added when Loki gave him an unimpressed look.

“I don’t recall asking for advice,” Loki said, the crease between his eyebrows reaching Mariana Trench depths.

“Not givin’ advice,” Bucky replied, shaking his head. “Wanna hear my personal dating philosophy?”

“No.”

“Great! I’m tellin’ it to you anyway,” Bucky said, not missing a beat. “I remind myself that everyone is only human. It’s the only thing that grounds me when I start to put someone on a pedestal ‘cause they’re doin’ all the right things to make me feel good about myself.  Eventually they’ll do or say something that makes me feel like shit, and it all starts to go to hell real quick.”

Sucking in his cheeks, Loki squinted at the man, slightly distracted by that ridiculous backwards ball cap. “You expect the worst to avoid disappointment.”

“Yup.”

“Hmm.” Loki scratched the back of his neck, eyeing Bucky from under his brow. “Really need to put on my thinking cap for that deeply profound take right there,” he said, tapping his head, “otherwise, I might mistake your personal philosophy for what the kids these days refer to as basic pessimism.”

Bucky lifted his chin, responding in a mock British accent. “Oh, go ahead, and call me a pessimist, not to be confused with NIHILIST-” he made air quotes “-if you want.  That’s fine.  I learned to lower my expectations to null quite some time ago, and now I don’t risk disappointment.  It’s the best-”

“-best thing I ever did,” Loki finished the sentence for him, his eyes rolling. “You are literally just repeating a paragraph from my book now, and I don’t know if I should feel insulted or proud. Shit impression of my voice by the way.”

“I still do it,” Bucky continued the quote, smiling broadly. “It’s called being present, and presently, I want to-”

“-to find that girl,” Loki said the last few words in unison with him. “Yes, yes, I know. Piss off, JB.”

The conversation with his friend calmed Loki’s nerves just enough to deal with the next two hours of anaerobic metabolic hell that Sam had planned for them.  Admittedly, there was that one set of shoulder presses when Loki almost thrust the 90-pound barbell at his trainer, but aside from that near-fatal burst of testosterone-fueled anger, it had been a decent gym session.  Sliding his sunglasses on, Loki waved goodbye to Chloe at the front desk around 11:30, anxious to get home and get out of his sweat-soaked clothes.  His tired muscles had earned a long hot shower.  Especially since he intended to put them through another workout tonight.


~ 7:32 PM, Sigyn’s apartment, 159 Prince Street #8 ~

Phone in hand, Sigyn pulled her bedroom curtain aside to look out her window, her teeth digging into her bottom lip as she focused on the intersection of Prince and Thompson Street, one block west of her building. The knots in her stomach could not get any tighter. Loki lived on Thompson, and he would round that corner any second now. She’d gotten a text from him ten minutes ago asking if he could just come to her place and order in rather than go out for dinner, and she’d damn near lost her mind on the spot. 

She could have texted “Be my guest, Loki. No, seriously, be my overnight guest. I’ll even give you my bed” but she went with a less horny “sure, just text me when you get here” response instead, forgetting that he didn’t even know her address. Whoops—forgive her for thinking he knew everything about her, including her constant GPS location, since he now lived rent free in her brain.

Squinting her eyes, she looked from person to person walking on the surprisingly crowded, wet pavement three stories below.  She pushed up onto her toes, annoyed with the umbrellas obstructing her view. She didn’t appreciate having to strain her neck to see the street corner better. Sighing, she dropped her heels to the floor again and checked her phone.

7:36 PM. No new texts or missed calls.

She returned her eyes to the pavement below. “Where are you, Loki?”

Chest pounding, she chewed her bottom lip as the umbrellas finally moved aside at the exact second a tall, black-haired figure in a leather jacket, slim dark trousers, and boots came around the corner of Thomspon and Prince. She blinked slowly, admiring his gait, which could only be described as a god-like strut, as he neared her building. She saw him pull his phone from his pocket, presumably texting her, and she took off toward her front door.

“Cool it!” she whisper-shouted to herself, slowing her pace down the stairs.  She eyed the new text on her phone.

Loki: I’m standing outside your building, and oh god, please come down here NOW to let me in, Sig. I left my place sans umbrella (because I am a highly intelligent man), and this rain is causing GREAT harm to my defenseless leather jacket. x

Chuckling at the image of a poor defenseless leather jacket, she grabbed the door handle and yanked hard, the door swinging open and accidentally banging into the wall behind it.

Startled by the sudden clang of metal on brick, Loki jumped, his eyes blowing wide.

“Son of a…” he gasped, blinking rapidly, “I wasn’t ready for a jump scare.”

“Welcome to my haunted house of horrors,” Sigyn joked, sweeping her arm out dramatically, smiling wide and trying not to laugh at his mouth hanging open like a fish out of water.

She stepped back, holding the door open for him. “Let’s get you out of those wet clothes,” she said, her cheeks flushing deep red. Talk about a Freudian slip. “Wet jacket. I meant to say jacket. Sorry.”

“I know what you meant, Sig,” Loki replied, giving her a dark look, the dim light from the juice store window next door casting shadows on the tightening muscles in his jaw.

He stepped into her building, spinning around to face her as she let the door close behind her. She met his gaze again, struggling to keep it together because if looks could kill, she would drop dead at his feet when her vital organs spontaneously combusted from the heat in those intense emerald eyes. If that didn’t do the trick, then the carbon dioxide poisoning from excessive heavy breathing would—he’d stolen all the available oxygen in the hall away from her.

A decent man would share some of that air in his lungs by giving her mouth to mouth.  An exceptionally decent man would do so with his tongue.  Paramedics of course referred to this as French CPR.  Speaking of mouths, he was looking at hers, his teeth digging into his bottom lip, though not in a lascivious manner.  No, if someone asked her to name the expression on his face, she would go with…fiercely pensive.

And I am fiercely into it.

Stunned speechless by the head rush she was experiencing from just looking at him, Sigyn moved away from the door and leaned back against the wall for support. She needed a moment before attempting to climb three flights of stairs. Actually, now would be a great time for Loki to prove that he could carry her up there. She bit her lip, her gaze traveling down his body, unconsciously gauging just how much power those long, lean legs could generate.

Good lord, woman, stop ogling his crotch!

Cheeks burning, her eyes shot back up to his face. He still had that same lethal look in his eyes, and oh god, it was just too much. Sure, a clock might claim only fifteen seconds had passed since the no doubt expensive designer soles of Loki’s boots first met the tile floor under their feet, but time was relative when having an hours-long staring contest with him. Desperate to break the tense silence before that silence broke her brain, she cleared her throat. The harsh, guttural sound reverberated all around them, violently bouncing back and forth off the brick walls, tile floors, wood steps, and doors.  Perhaps she was imagining things, but she would have sworn that the wall behind her back was shaking.

Pushing off the wall, she threw up her hands helplessly. “Where are my manners? Up to number eight on floor three, we go,” she chimed, forcing an airy tone while setting her foot on the first stair and gesturing for him to follow.

Looking up at her from under his brow, Loki watched her start up the steps. The seconds moved forward, keeping time with the heels of Sigyn’s ballet flats ascending the stairs, along with the blood rushing through his ears, and the hiss of his own breaths in and out of his parted lips. 

Tick… TAP… whirr… SWISH…

Tick… TAP… whirr… SWISH…

Tick… TAP… whirr… SWISH… 

Nostrils flaring, he exhaled long and slow through his mouth, pissed that he couldn’t bloody move. Sig was up there, and he was down here, frozen to the tile floor like an ice statue all because the driving staccato beats from spontaneous percussive echos in the stairwell-turned-concert-hall were pressing in on him from all sides and triggering a disastrous claustrophobic brain malfunction. The building door swung open behind him then, and he nearly jumped out of skin.

“Jesus,” he muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose as the person who had just entered the building walked around him. Would there also be a third jump scare coming soon?

“Sorry, dude,” the person said, nodding to Loki then hurrying up the stairs past Sigyn, shouting at her over their shoulder, “Looking good, Sigyn.”

“Thanks, Sterling, you too,” she responded, twisting to look at Loki, her eyebrows raising in question. “Why so jumpy? I promise the house of haunted horrors thing was just a joke.” She beamed at his responding raspy laugh.

“I’m just a bit on edge for reasons unrelated to ghosts,” he admitted, looking her up and down, suddenly highly aware of her marvelously revealing outfit—a short, out of season black, off the shoulder t-shirt sporting a large purple lipstick print across her chest, and possibly illegal short red cutoffs.

Jaw clenching, he lifted his eyes to hers again as an adult content bomb detonated in his head, blasting every conscious thought with explicit scenes starring himself and that legs-for-days woman standing above him. Now the walls weren’t pressing in on him— just the dark denim below his belt. Running both hands through his hair, he walked to the base of the stairs, and crooked his forefinger at her, motioning for her to come back down to him.

 “You texted me several nights ago,” he said, darkly watching her descend the steps achingly slowly, “and I promised to tell you what I want tonight. I want to tell you now, if that’s alright with you.” 

Sigyn nodded, white knuckling the railing like a steering wheel in the hands of a driver getting pulled over by a traffic cop. That “I’ll tell you Saturday” text had occupied far too much space in her head this week. He was probably a sorcerer, and those four words were a sex spell. If not, then she was just weak as hell for him, which was fine, so long as he was just as weak for her. She finally came face to face with him, her stomach somersaulting itself into a dizzy mess, but rather than join him on the floor, she stopped on the bottom step to give herself a bit of height.

I need to keep SOME semblance of power in this…sort of…relationship…thing.

Loki glanced at their feet, then he returned his eyes to her face, giving her a knowing look when she lifted her chin. Such a smart girl—literally not giving him an inch. 

“So,” Sigyn said, clearing her throat, “what do you want?”

“I want to carry you up three flights of stairs to your apartment right now,” he responded firmly and without hesitation, keeping his eyes on hers.

Jaw dropping, her eyes shot wide open.

OH MY GOD, ARE YOU KIDDING ME??

Barely managing to reel her jaw up off the floor, she stammered, “You mean…like the thing I said when we were at-”

“Fanelli, yes,” he cut her off, setting his hands on her hips just below her shirt and slipping his thumbs underneath the fabric, “and I’m not talking about that over-the-threshold nonsense.”

Sigyn blinked lazily, feeling that gravelly timbre rumbling deep in her bones as surely as she felt the scorch marks from his thumbs dragging across her lower stomach. How could a man know her for only one week and have the audacity to already brand his name into her skin? Her mind supplied the answer.

Because you’re letting him, hon.

She opened her mouth to give him a classy “fuck yes” response to his request, but Loki shook his head and put a finger to his lips. 

“If we do this, we’re doing it my way,” he rasped, tightening his grip, “with your legs around my waist and your arms around my shoulders.”  

She nodded, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. “Understood.”

Gritting his teeth behind closed lips, Loki exhaled sharply, and got straight to it. He ran his hands down her hips and around to her backside, watching her carefully, his heart racing out the gate when her eyebrows knitted together. If he didn’t know better, he might think she was in pain, but the little gasp escaping from her parted lips spoke louder. That wasn’t a look of pain. It was a look of impatience.

Me too, Sig.

Growling softly under his breath, he gripped her ass and hoisted her up against his stomach, smirking at the sight of her teeth scraping over her bottom lip. He started up the stairs, one foot after the other, climbing higher and higher with her in his arms. This was the no holds barred physical contact that he’d been aching for—his splayed fingers sliding underneath the back of her shorts that had ridden up when he’d lifted her, dragging the denim aside to expose more of that stunning curve. His hands were so happy, clinging to her as she clung to his neck, her fingers tangling in his hair. He groaned as her grip tightened.

Consider my hair kink triggered.

He was tempted to stop here on the second-floor landing and just make out against the wall, but that wouldn’t be fun with his ego incessantly screaming “ABSOLUTELY not!” at him. Hefting her higher up his body, the front of her shorts pressed directly against the fly of his jeans, and he hissed sharply.

Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god.

Twelve stairs later, he set his boot on the third floor. “Which one is yours?” he asked, gripping her thighs more tightly when she started to relax them.

“Number 8,” she answered shakily, pointing behind him, and he swiveled toward the door with a gold number 8 on it. “You don’t need to take me all the way into-”

“Key?” He spoke over her, completely breathless.

Dropping one hand from his shoulders, she pulled her key from her back pocket, shoved it in the lock, and twisted the doorknob. Putting her arm around his shoulders again, she clung to him as he walked in and kicked the door closed behind him. Her mouth fell open when it slammed behind her. Was she in a goddamn movie right now? This was officially the hottest moment of her life thus far.

Loki walked straight to her studio couch, then carefully set her down on the back of it.  She relaxed her legs, unlocking her ankles from behind his back and dropping her feet to the floor. Arms still around his shoulders, she pulled him closer, and he grinned down at her.

“Told you I could do it,” he said, angling his face to avoid bumping her nose.

“You said you could do it easily, but you’re panting like you just finished a marathon,” Sigyn teased him, pushing his poor defenseless wet leather jacket over his shoulders and helping him shrug out of the sleeves, “which means you only passed half the test of manhood.”

Eyeing her narrowly, he draped his jacket over the back of the couch next to her. “I’m breathing hard because your legs took advantage of my crotch on those stairs.”

“Oh, you literally asked me to!” she scoffed.

“Sure, just blame the victim.”

“Did I force you to grab my ass?”

“No, gravity forced me. You see, Sig, there’s this technique called leverage-”

“Shut up,” she said on an exhale, trying to get her own heart rate back down from the tachycardic cloud nine high that Loki had given her.

He grinned crookedly. “So…what now? Netflix?”

Biting into a smile, she shrugged and reached for her PS4 controller behind her on the cushions below. “Genre preference?”

Before she got a hold of it, Loki grabbed her hips and flipped her backwards onto the cushions.

“Jesus!” she gasped, landing with a thud, her eyes popping as he literally hurled his body over the back of the couch after her.

Landing on his knees at her feet, he smirked and crawled up her body, his hips settling between her thighs. She reached up to hold his face, her thumbs running along his jaw as her mouth fell open in wonder. He moved fast then, closing his eyes and swooping down to catch her parted lips with his. Sliding her tongue under his on impact, Sigyn moaned into his mouth. Fireworks shot off a dozen at a time inside his chest, the explosions rippling out in all directions up and down his body as she arched up into him. Beneath his chest, he felt her heart pounding faster, catching up to his at breakneck speed.

Heart rate through that moonroof, I don’t know where the hell we’re going, Sig…

Then, Sigyn slid her hands up into his hair, and moved her mouth to his ear. “This is me getting in the goddamn car.”

Eyes slamming shut, Loki pulled her mouth to his for another kiss, even more heated than before.

And this is me putting my foot on the gas, gorgeous girl…

THE NEW YEAR FEVER DREAMS SAGA

A LOKI+SIGYN MODERN AU SERIES

NEON DAYDREAMS CONTINUES IN CHAPTER FOUR: WAYFARER WINTER.

Visit the Neon main page HERE.

Neon Daydreams Chapter Links: 1Caffeine Fireworks 2Silver Heart Eyes 3Moonroof Serotonin 4Wayfarer Winter 5(December 2021) 6(January 2022) 7TBD 8TBD 9TBD 10TBD 11TBD 12TBD

CHAPTER THREE THEME SONGS:

Beach House” by The Chainsmokers (for Loki)

Chronic” by Phoebe Ryan (For Sig)

What Readers Have Said

About CH 3 “Moonroof Serotonin”

“My face hurts. I smiled through this whole chapter, I just love reading these too falling deeper in love with each other. Sure they would both say its way too soon for the L word, but they really are gone for each other.”

-ferbette (AO3 review)

“I LOVE all the Starboy references! And it is much fun watching these two falling in love. I feel their anxiety and euphoria.”

-Mischief76 (AO3 review)

Receive instant notifications directly to your inbox when Jen updates her in-progress works, such as the next chapters of Neon Daydreams and Fearless Immortals in December 2021 and January 2022; we’ll let you know when new short stories and multi-chapter works have been posted as well.* To keep up with our latest news (and to just joke around with us), follow the Jen Eowynir Fiction Admin Team’s Twitter account @LokisWriting (previously Jen’s old personal account). As of June 2021, Jen has a new personal-use Twitter. Both are linked in the icons below, along with her other socials.

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NEON CH 2 http://frigidimmortals.com/neon-ch2-silver-heart-eyes/ http://frigidimmortals.com/neon-ch2-silver-heart-eyes/#comments Sat, 26 Jun 2021 06:01:55 +0000 http://frigidimmortals.com/?p=1565

SILVER HEART EYES

NEON DAYDREAMS CHAPTER TWO

~Monday, January 2, 2017, 2:12PM, Fanelli Café, NYC~

Putting her fork down, Sigyn pushed her plate aside, set her elbows on the table, and leaned forward onto them, staring at Loki sitting across from her as he recounted a story from his Harvard undergrad days.  She chewed on her lip, trying to focus on the story itself, which would be a genuinely interesting one if her mind would quit checking out of the conversation every three seconds to just gaze stupidly at the mouth telling the story.

But honestly, how the hell could she process verbal communication when he insisted on describing this story with his hands?  Loki could probably sell his left wrist to Rolex for millions.  Who knew tendons and knuckles could be so appealing?  In her mind, his fingers were the star of the show.  They were longer than most guys (in her experience) and better groomed, for sure, with perfectly rounded ends and smooth surface curvature, giving the tips a natural-looking sheen.  Finally— a man who knew how to buff his tips properly.  Heat flooded her cheeks when the wording of her thoughts hit her.

He knows how to buff his NAILS, not TIPS, for god’s sake, her mind clarified itself.

MOVING ON.

Reaching for her glass, Sigyn took several gulps, which she nearly choked on thanks to her hilarious head spouting off a string of sexual jokes— “yeah, I bet you’re thirsty” “don’t spit it out” “you should offer to get on your knees and give him a MAN-icure HAHAHA.”

For the love, her one brain cell was actively working against its own best interests.  If she wanted to turn her totally respectful Loki-centric thoughts into reality, then perhaps she shouldn’t allow her mind to wander away from the real guy right here in front of her.  Setting her glass down, she shifted in her seat, unable to stop crossing and uncrossing her legs.  She took several deep breaths, forcing her consciousness to turn Loki’s volume dial all the way up once more, to let only the sound of his voice permeate the space between her ears.

“…thought my father had the corner on the condescension market, but this calculus tutor made that merciless man who sired me look more charitable than Jesus Christ…” Loki paused, watching Sigyn move restlessly in her chair.  Trying to ignore the rising insecurity in his chest, he cleared his throat.

“So…um,” he sighed, scratching the back of his neck,” my father was…he was…not nice…but that’s beside the point.  This other guy was a prick-and-a-half, and…” he stopped again because, fuck, he couldn’t think straight with her moving like that.  

Leaning forward, he looked her straight in the eyes. “Are you alright?”

Sigyn tilted her head, blinking several times.  Was he upset with her?  The tone of his voice suggested that was a possibility.

Oh, please no no no no, Loki, I am SO INTO YOU.

“I’m great,” she replied, putting on a smile that hopefully reached her eyes.  When he didn’t respond immediately, only squinting at her quietly as though trying to read her mind, she swallowed nervously.  “Why?”

He looked over her face, searching for the truth that she was most assuredly not sharing with him.  She was great?  Ha, okay.  Consider him not convinced.  That was, unless her “I’m great” response was supposed to conjure up an image of him taking the first sip from his to-go coffee while walking out of Ground Support with her this morning— that moment when he’d cringed at the unexpected soymilk flavor in his supposed almond latte, while muttering “fucking GREAT.”

He leaned forward onto his elbows. “You know that feeling during those last few minutes of class when your ears turn the professor’s words into a dull hum?  As though your body senses the need to switch from the vulnerable, present-focused ‘learning’ mode that was required throughout the lecture to instead prep itself with a future-focused ‘green light GO!’ mix of adrenaline and cortisol or whatever, enabling you to bolt up out of your chair the exact moment that second hand touches the 12 on the clock over the front board?”

Sigyn smiled faintly. “Yes?” Where was he going with this?

“Yes?” He repeated her answer, to which she nodded. “Is that how you feel right now?”

She frowned, momentarily confused. “Wait…what-” she stopped when his question clicked properly. “Do you think that I think you sound like a droning professor??”

“Well, I mean,” he chuckled, somewhat amused by the offended expression on her face, “you seem antsy.  Listen, I’m not saying that you’re bored per se, but maybe that you’re interpreting this conversation as annoyingly one-sided, you know?” He put a hand on his chest. “I don’t want you to think that I just like the sound of my own damn voice.”

Her eyes didn’t quite pop out of her head, but it was a close call. “You can’t be serious.  No way in hell could you interpret anything I’m doing right now as me being annoyed with you.  No no no,” she said, shaking her head, “you are wrong.  Wrong.  On all accounts.  Wrong.”

Loki opened and closed his mouth a few times, genuinely concerned that she was in any way upset with him now. “Sigyn, I didn’t mean to-”

“Good god, no,” she spoke over him, laughing nervously. “I would gladly listen to your voice all day, alright?  I’m grateful for the opportunity.”

If luxurious, melt-in-your-mouth, world-class cacao had a voice, it would sound exactly like Loki.  Oh, that deep baritone timbre was phenomenal.  Her eyes glazed over (probably into hearts).  This was the first man she’d met who wouldn’t have to beg her to say his name during sex because, god almighty, she would already have moaned it, unprompted, about a hundred times in a mere five minutes with him.  Blinking several times, she pressed her lips together.  Well, at least she had the self-awareness to catch herself each time her brain short circuited into NSFW Land.

Her mouth fell open into an ‘o’ then—OH—as her exceptionally slow head finally flipped the empathy switch on.  Shit, she would feel so dejected if she were in Loki’s position.  If she’d noticed him fading in and out while she’d been talking, if she’d seen the dazed look in his eyes, or his incessantly bouncing knee, she would have excused herself to run to the restroom and cry into a wad of paper towels.  She would have apologized for her sudden, adult-onset attention deficit disorder, but his deep, rasping laugh cut through the silence instead.

“Shall I continue blessing you with my mouth then?” he asked, giving her a look that had no business showing up in any situation that didn’t allow her to immediately rip his clothes off.

Oh god, she couldn’t breathe.

RIP Sigyn Elena Frey.

“Blessing you with the sounds coming out of my mouth, that is,” he clarified, barely managing to keep a steady voice.  In the span of two seconds, his flirtatious “ha ha” innuendo had morphed into something far more intense, and now, here he was, needing to practice goddamn yoga breathing to get his heartrate down.  (And some blood back up into his head—Jesus Christ.)

Sigyn forced a laugh, as though his “joke” had done anything other than turn her on to the point of pain.  Other than the obvious things she would consider as “blessings” from his mouth, she could also envision what that mouth would look like while saying goodnight to her just inside her building doors.  There would be a slightly crooked little grin on his face, then the upturned corner of his mouth would fall.  Suddenly, his jaw would tighten, then he would make this sort of growl-like sound, reach down to grab her backside, hoist her up into his arms, and kiss her like a king while she wrapped her legs around his waist.  Oh, she was rolling with this fantasy now, and she needed to stop. Eyebrows knitting together, she recentered herself in the here and now.

“By all means,” she said, smiling brightly, “please continue the story.  I promise to sit still.”

Still counting his breaths, Loki exhaled through his mouth.  Shit, he couldn’t even recall what he’d been talking about.  He pressed his lips together, frowning up at the ceiling.  Something about university, maybe?

OH! —the tutor from hell, that’s right.

“Okay, let’s see,” he said, tapping his finger to his chin, “right…so, listen, I didn’t complain about that guy to my parents, but it came up in a conversation with my mother, and—I’m dead serious here by the way—she dared to suggest…”

Sigyn stared at the moving shadows in his face, his words fading to white noise yet again.  Those cheekbones were sharp enough to cut her hand on.  Dammit! —how had she already zoned out again?  What had he said?  Something about his mum?  He’d been getting to the climax of this story, and now she’d have to ask him to repeat it.  She chewed her lip, trying not to think about “getting to the climax” in another scenario.  She squinted at him, catching the tail end of the last sentence.  Or was that a new sentence?

“…better than that, my mother assured me that this grad student only treated me like shit because he had a crush…”

She didn’t hear the next part.  Her mind had replaced his voice with different sounds—imaginary heavy breathing, the loud echo of thick boots and skinny high heels climbing three flights of stairs, the creaking of her front door swinging open on its old hinges before slamming shut, the lock clicking, the thud of a purse landing on the wood floor, the “clink” of a belt unbuckling, a zipper pulling down…

“Bloody hell, shut up,” she groaned under her breath, putting her face in her hands, completely unaware that she’d said it loud enough for Loki to hear her.

“…a crush…on…me…” he slowed his speech to a halt, opening and closing his mouth a few times, unsure how to respond, before finally asking, “Did you just tell me to shut up?”

Hearing the raised inflection in his voice, she looked up from her hands.

“Oh.  Uh…no,” she replied, gazing longingly at her ice water, wishing it were socially acceptable to dump it over her head.  Her face was about to melt right off.  She waved a hand. “That was aimed at me, actually.”

Head tilting, Loki looked sideways.  What in all the universe was going on with her?  It took him a second, but the answer did finally come to him.  He pushed a hand through his hair.

“Can’t believe it took me so long,” he muttered, rolling his eyes at his complete lack of awareness. “I’m not boring you, no no no.  You’re just caught up in some inner dialogue, and it centers around me in an inappropriate context.” He grinned at the sexy-as-hell blush on her cheeks. “Do tell.”

Shaking her head, Sigyn pressed her lips together to suppress an embarrassing nervous giggle.  She would not legit giggle (EVER!) in front of this man.

“You don’t want to know,” she said, pushing a shaky hand through her hair.

“I00 dollars says I most certainly do want to know,” he countered, sucking in his cheeks.  He pointed to her face. “You were picturing me naked.”

Her eyes blew wide open, though gratefully, the deer-in-headlights moment didn’t last long—two seconds, at most.  Obviously, he’d spoken in jest, but it was still blatantly sexual.  A bit bold for a first date, no?  Glancing sideways out the window, she pondered the question for literally one second before concluding the obvious answer— he wasn’t “bold” so much as just “reading the room” accurately.  She hadn’t exactly hidden her extreme interest in him.  She should be relieved to finally be on a date with someone who wasn’t afraid to lay his “I really like you too” cards on the table.

Unless…he could just be an incredibly convincing liar.  Maybe he only wants sex, and knows that shit wouldn’t fly with me, so he’s putting on the DREAMIEST SHOW EVER.  He’s baiting, and I’m suicidal enough to take it…

She looked back at him, her eyes flicking between his mouth and eyes.  Bloody hell, she would kill to kiss that smirk spreading across his face, partly because it would give her an excuse to examine his eyes up close.  It would be akin to gazing at rare, gorgeous gemstones backlit by a winter sunset breaking through the clouds after a snowstorm—translucent jade threads bursting from the glittering onyx cores of glowing emeralds.

His crooked grin morphed into a toothy smile, and he laughed quietly. “Are you looking for the answer to my question on my face?”

“No,” she said on an exhale, the clusterfuck of butterflies in her stomach migrating southin a collective, flittering rush of blood at the sound of his throaty laugh, “I’m…admiring your face.”

And your voice.  And your hair.  And your words.  And the way you look at me.

The word “magnetic” didn’t begin to cover it.  God, he was so dangerous.  Did he have enough self-awareness to recognize that?

“No, you’re stallingThat’s what you’re doing, darling.  I see those clever gears grinding up there,” he said, pointing to her head, “cursing at each other for failing on the job.”

“My god, you’re so mean,” she snickered, though it was more from exasperation than amusement. “It’s an incredibly awkward question, you know? You’ve put me in a weird position, Loki.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Have I?  Then by all means, Sigyn, feel free to take the lead.  I’m amenable to any position.” The crooked grin appeared again. “I’m flexible like that.”

She couldn’t help but grin back at him.  No way in hell was he faking this.  Even the most experienced and talented charmer couldn’t pull this off.  Even Oscar-winning performances required scripts, and both parties had to memorize their lines, or it wouldn’t work.  Sure, many great movie moments had been improvised, but they still had to fit within the greater agreed upon context of the script or the scene prompt, right?  This scene, however— the “first date” scene playing out right here at Fanelli, only a few blocks from her building— was the real deal.

Loki wasn’t baiting her.  He wasn’t a pick-up artist.  He wasn’t a charismatic “yes man” telling her everything she wanted to hear just to get her in bed.  Quite the opposite, he was the most genuine man she’d ever met.  Guarded, but genuine, nonetheless. Her gut instinct told her that his “guarded” quality was related to past trauma.  Probably more than one instance of it.

Taking careful steps around his own personal broken glass (a justified decision, in her opinion), he’d still laid his cards out on the table in front of her.  He was all in with no chips left to flex, and that made him vulnerable to a huge loss—her, in this case.  In other words, he was confident that he could be vulnerable with her.

He’s confident that I’m into HIM, not the idealized Loki “Starboy” Odinson.

That meant he must be legit into her, right?  Was this just her being too hopeful? —Had his dazzling, pearly white smile blinded the rational part of her brain?  She suppressed a dreamy-eyed moan, her chest constricting and aching and melting and bleeding for this guy. 

“Cat got your tongue, Ms. Frey?”

“This is so embarrassing,” she answered immediately, knowing that another slow response would just make her look like a silly, blushing schoolgirl or something, “but I can’t remember the question.” She forced a weak laugh and lowered her eyes to her glass, stirring the tepid water with her straw.

Pursing his lips, Loki reached across the table, and her heart skipped a beat as he gingerly pinched her fingers to stop the stirring.  Her stomach flipped excitedly, absolutely thrilled with even that tiniest physical contact.  It was a barely-there sensation, but apparently, he could make her crazy with just his thumb and forefinger.  Her eyes nearly popped out of her head as the phrasing of that thought smacked her right in the face.

“Oh god, I wish,” she said without realizing it.

“You wish what?” He asked, removing her fingers from the straw, setting them on the table, then (unfortunately) letting go, and picking her glass up instead.  He lifted it to his nose, sniffing the contents.

Eyebrows knitting, she watched him curiously. “Wish?” She’d said that out loud? Yikes. “Why are you smelling my drink?” she asked, dodging the question.

“Checking to see if it was spiked with vodka or something,” he said, biting into a smile.

She laughed. “What? Why would you think that?”

“Because you’re suffering from short-term memory loss, apparently, and I’m terribly concerned,” he joked, setting the glass down in front of her once more as she laughed harder. “I asked…” he paused, relaxing into the chair back, “Well, I suppose I didn’t phrase it as a question originally, but rather suggested that you’d stopped listening to me because you were too busy imagining the perfection beneath this-” he tugged the lapels of his black leather jacket “-marvelously stylish getup.”

“The confidence with which you speak astounds me,” she said, trying to contain the dreadful giggling sound coming out of her mouth. “Not that you shouldn’t be confident in that marvelously stylish getup.”

“She evades the question, yet again,” he sighed, extending his legs, and crossing his ankles under the table.

He’d assumed she would scoot a few inches left to make room for him, but she didn’t.  Quite the opposite, she moved toward him, closing the slight space between his outer right thigh and hers.  Heart pounding, he produced a small grin, thrilled to feel the heat of her bare leg against his jeans.  Would he get slapped if he thanked her for choosing to wear a miniskirt sans tights in January? He watched her carefully, hoping he wasn’t misreading the situation.  He doubted it, though, since her chest had begun rising and falling more quickly in the last three seconds.  Still grinning, he took several deep breaths, reeling in the extreme desire to push his other knee between her legs.

BIG NOPE.  I am not a goddamn caveman.

His grin faltered then, considering the possibility that this was just his imagination showing him what he wanted to see.  Maybe the exposed skin above her shirt’s blessedly low neckline hadn’t turned a slightly darker shade of pink; maybe his mind had simply concocted a sexy hallucination starring this Sigyn Frey person who he’d only met yesterday.  Oh god, if such things were true, he might need to excuse himself to go into the men’s room, and…kick a trash bin or something.  Obviously, he’d fantasized about her while showering after that run yesterday, but this moment with her had better not also be an elaborate fantasy.  

Please tell me my hyper excited chemicals aren’t LYING to me. 

Lifting one eyebrow, Sigyn cleared her throat. “I was not picturing you naked.”

“You’re a terrible liar,” he sighed, smirking at the blush on her cheeks.

 True story—She put a hand over her mouth to cover a laugh as she sank lower down her chair. “I was not technically lying.”

“You’re going with the technicalities defense?” He asked, his shoulders shaking with silent laughter.

“Well, I mean…” she sighed, forcing herself to sit up straight even though she would’ve preferred to fall through the floor, “you accused me of picturing you naked, and I was not picturing you naked.”

Eyes narrowing, he hummed. “Hmm.  Question…”

She groaned—No further questions PLEASE, Loki!

Fuck, she was going to say something stupid.  Something honest.  Same difference.

“Why did you say you weren’t technically lying?”

She opened her mouth to respond, but he cut her off to elaborate. “Technically lying is not the same thing as being honest, is it?”

Again, she started to answer, and again, he spoke over her. “The subtext is entirely different, you know.”

Glaring at him, though not maliciously, she threw up her hands and answered honestly. “The insinuation within your accusation was that I was picturing you in a sexual situation, which would be correct, but you weren’t naked.  There’s your technicality, Loki.” Her mouth snapped shut, and she winced.  Oh, the regret.  The shame.

Hello, Sigyn’s Losing Hand, allow me to introduce you to the Table of Oversharing!

Loki’s eyebrows shot straight to his hairline, and he bit into a smile. “My god, woman.”

Honestly, if she’d literally shot herself in the foot, it would’ve been less painful than this “dying inside” embarrassment.

She rolled her eyes and mumbled, “I hate everything.”

He gave her a pointed look. “You don’t hate me.”

Shrugging her shoulders, she nodded once. “Well, one need not be an Einstein to figure that out.”

“The feeling’s mutual, I assure you,” he said, chuckling quietly when she bit her lip and pretended to fan herself in response. “So…” he continued, propping his elbows on the table and setting his chin on his hands, “would you be willing to share further details about the situation you were think-” he stopped abruptly, pressing his lips together when their server appeared next to them with a water pitcher.  He handed his glass to him, nodding his thanks while smiling at Sigyn, who was blinking lazily at him again.  

The server looked at her. “You too, ma’am?” When she didn’t respond, but only continued staring at the man across the table, the server shook his head at Loki, then he snorted. “Jesus, it’s like you don’t even have to try, m’dude.  What’s your secret, you goddamn sexual Tyrannosaurus?”

“If you think I don’t try, it then follows that you think I woke up like this,” Loki said, grabbing Sigyn’s glass to hand to the young man to save him the trouble of awkwardly reaching over their plates, “which couldn’t be further from the truth.  One could argue that I try too hard.”

The server set her glass down, and the movement pulled her out of her starry-eyed daze, her eyes snapping up to him.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry,” she said, offering an apologetic smile. “I swear I’m not always such a space cadet.”

“Seems to be a regular problem with the girls who hang out with this guy,” he said, gesturing to Loki, and setting their separate restaurant checks on the table. “No rush,” he added, then turned away to help another table.

Eyebrows pulling together, Sigyn watched the man’s back for a moment.  His words hadn’t been objectively offensive, not even close, but they’d triggered a highly juvenile internal response.  Namely, jealousy.  She heard Loki clear his throat, and she returned her eyes to him.

“I take issue with that lad’s opinion,” he sighed, stabbing at the chicken from Sigyn’s half-eaten entree. “As though only girls space out around me.  Come on, mate.  My appeal transcends gender.” He’d felt the shift in the air the moment that waiter mentioned other women.  Hopefully, that off-the-cuff gender quip had softened the blow.  See? —Trying.

“Mm,” Sigyn hummed, unsure what to make of the sudden tension in his jaw, the downcast eyes, the deepening crease between his eyebrows, and the slow, excessively methodical chewing of one small bite.

She tilted her head, silently counting 28 seconds until he finally swallowed.  Interesting—a mouthful of food was a convenient excuse for what would otherwise be interpreted as nervous silence.  She chewed her lip, watching him use the napkin in his lap to wipe his already clean mouth.  Was he upset with her?  With the waiter?  Had he seen someone whip out a phone to take a picture of him or something?  She looked over her shoulder, unsure what she was even searching for.  If she had to guess, and she absolutely was guessing, she would say that Loki was panicking at the thought of her possibly feeling like she was just another notch on his bedpost after that comment.

Just keep the conversation going.  You like this guy…a LOT.  Don’t scare him off with your own bullshit insecurities getting the better of you.

Turning back to him, she smirked. “Your appeal transcends gender, eh?  Agreed, and what a perfect segue back to the male Harvard grad student who was crushing on you.”

He raised an eyebrow, relieved to know that she was still willing to talk to him at least. “So, you were listening to the story.”

“I caught snippets,” she laughed.

“I’ll start where I left off…where was I?”

“You were telling me that your mum said that guy was into you.  I can hear the ‘well actually’ right now.”

“Impressive recall for a space cadet,” he quipped, shooting her a smile. “You must be a phenomenal multitasker.”

“I am,” she agreed, then held up a finger. “Except for 69.  It is impossible to do both of those things at once.  How am I supposed to focus on the hand and mouth work while a man has his head between my legs?”

His eyes blew wide open. “Jesus. Christ.  Don’t talk about that to me in public.”  He hoped his inseam could handle the onslaught of gloriously graphic images flooding his brain.

“Oh please,” she laughed, adoring the desperate, longing look on his face, “you were about to ask the specifics of my little daydream.”

He licked his teeth (behind closed lips, of course—he wasn’t a creep) and held up his hands. “Guilty as charged.”

Despite being nervous as hell to be this open with him, her stomach twisted excitedly.  If she didn’t get to roll around with him on her couch at the end of this date, she would be a sobbing mess of a woman tonight.  No no no, she should absolutely not do that tonight.  That would make her even more of a sobbing mess.  Right? Taking a deep breath, she chewed her lip.

Ugh, just SAY it.

“I was picturing us in my building lobby, and…um…trying to determine if you were strong enough to climb the three flights of stairs up to my third-floor apartment-” oh god, just breathe “-if you had to carry me up there.” He was an avid runner, right?  It only followed that he had strong legs.  Or did it hinge more on the upper body strength?

Raising a dark eyebrow, Loki bit into a crooked grin.  She wanted him to literally sweep her off her feet?  Alright, that was it—he needed to make Sigyn Frey his girl.  No question.

Giving her several once-overs (would one call that a four-over?), he smirked. “Uh…easily, darling.”

“I suppose there’s no way in hell you would’ve said anything else, unless you wanted to get smacked for judging my figure,” she laughed, genuinely amused by the smug yet offended expression on his face.

He gave her a withering look. “You can’t possibly think that your figure is anything short of absolutely stunning, right?  Also, if we’re judging figures, here are a few: I deadlift 350, hit the gym 6 days a week, 52 weeks a year, and give precisely zero fucks about whatever number you see on your scale.  Trust me, when I say that I can easily carry you up three flights of stairs, I’m not lying.”

She stopped laughing immediately.  Goddamn, no wonder his jeans fit him like a dream. Her heart was about to burst through her ribcage.

He held up a hand before she could respond. “Okay, admittedly, that sounded arrogant as hell, and I should probably be ashamed for what could very much sound like a god-complex, however, in my defense, overextended gym-use and subsequent gloating about it are just part and parcel for people with VASFPD.”

Lifting her drink to her mouth, she stared blankly at him. “I have no idea what any of that means.”

Straight-faced, he answered without hesitation, in the flattest voice ever. “Vain as fuck personality disorder.”

Aaaand…she literally spit out her drink. “Loki Odinson,” she croaked, laughing between coughs as she wiped tears from her eyes. “I swear to god, you are ridiculous,” she managed while wiping tears from her eyes.

He laughed in response, quickly jumping up and coming around the table to pat her back (as though that would help at all).

“You think I’m ridiculous?  Check out that inflatable dinosaur zipping by on a skateboard,” he said, pointing out the window and smiling when she started laughing all over again. “Bloody hell, I love New York.” He offered his hand to her then.

“Ready to go?” he asked, grinning crookedly when she took his hand, allowing him to help her to her feet.  He gestured to her bag, slung across the chairback. “Better not forget that.”

“Oh right,” she mumbled, rolling her eyes at herself as she let go of him to reach down and unhook the awkwardly placed strap.

For pity’s sake, she was coming across as a silly, helpless girl who couldn’t even remember her damn bag!  Wrenching the thing free, she unzipped it as she stood upright.  Before she could slide her credit card out, Loki placed his hand over hers, and she looked up to see him pulling a few clean, new twenties from a silver money clip.

“Oh my god, no,” she said, shaking her head resolutely, “that is generous, but you do not need to pay for-”

“I asked you out, Sigyn,” Loki cut her off, leaning over the table to stack their separate restaurant bills into a neat pile.  He then dropped the cash on top of them and picked up the pen that the server had slipped inside the receipt holder.  Clicking the pen, he quickly wrote “keep the change, Jesse. Take care- LO x.” and popped one of the free peppermints into his mouth.  Grabbing the other one, he handed it to Sigyn.

“Did you think I’d let you pay for your own lunch?  How else am I supposed to impress you?” He winked, snickering quietly at her dramatic eye roll as she unwrapped her mint.

“Mmmhmm,” she hummed, lips pursing as she quietly chewed and swallowed it.  “Indeed, after seeing you wield cash like a hero, I am now able to detect a hint of attraction toward you.  I mean, prior to this moment, you had nothing else going for you.”

“A hero, I am not,” he lowered his voice, leaning toward her, and gingerly slipping his hand into hers again, “but a villain who has successfully lured you into an attraction trap.”

She chewed her lip, forcing a “confident” smile even though he made her feel weak as hell.  Son of a—as though he hadn’t already melted her insides with each word, each smile, each pass of his hand through his hair, each bite of his dinner that showed off his jaw, or swallow of his water that made her want to put her mouth all over his neck; now his face was mere inches from hers.  She needed to say something, or else she might lean forward and kiss his mouth right here in the middle of a crowded café.

“The utter betrayal,” she managed, her voice shaking a bit as he wiggled his eyebrows in response.  Dammit—so much for dry wit—she was unable to stop a smile from spreading across her cheeks as he turned on his heel, pulling her with him toward the old glass-windowed door under the exit sign. 

Dragging her behind him, Loki pushed through the door, squinting from the sudden burst of late afternoon daylight blasting into his retinas.  He tightened his grip on her hand, smoothly descending the two steps down to the sidewalk, then began walking up Mercer Street without asking where Sigyn wanted to go.  He didn’t have a destination in mind, and he didn’t care.  He just wanted to take her everywhere with him, and if he asked her what to do next or where to go next, then he would be forced to admit he didn’t have a plan.  And that could easily turn into a “well, that was fun, see you some other time” situation, which was not okay because he wasn’t ready to end this date.

Even though he’d been with her all morning, starting with coffee at Ground Support on West Broadway, then walking nearly every block of Soho twice, and spent three hours making possibly too-intense eye contact and talking her ears off just now at Fanelli, he couldn’t stand the thought of saying goodbye yet.  He felt her thumb rubbing circles on his hand, much like she’d done to his arm yesterday when he’d caught her, but the sensation of it was far more deadly today.

Don’t be a coward, LO.

Blowing out a breath, he started to ask when he could please see her again, but she spoke first.

“Ugh, I hate this,” she sighed, her words sending Loki’s stomach plummeting to the ground.

Eyes popping, he stopped abruptly, accidentally yanking her with him.

WAIT…WHAT?

“Sorry,” he apologized, instinctively grabbing her shoulder with his free hand to steady her.  He released her hand and cleared his throat, trying to stop his face from falling to the concrete and landing with a dreadful SPLAT.

Head tilting, he pressed his lips together. “You hate this?” he asked, anxiety clawing at his chest.

Please say that you just meant you hate the cold, gorgeous girl.  You hate January.  You hate winter.  You hate Mondays.  You hate post-lunch drowsiness.  You hate SAYING GOODBYE.

“I hate that I have a huge meeting first thing tomorrow,” she grumbled, her shoulders slumping forward, “and I still need a solid six hours to prepare for it because I’m a fool who put it off until the last minute.  Which means that-”

“That you have to get home,” Loki finished for her, smiling weakly as she nodded.  He was tempted to ask if that was just an excuse to get away from him, but paranoia wasn’t a good look on anyone.  Instead, he faked a chuckle and shrugged. “Sometimes I forget that people have normal 9 to 5 jobs.”

Despite wanting to throw a tantrum like some silly little princess who couldn’t get the thing she wanted right now, Sigyn smiled up at him. “Well, mine is an 8 to 5, so…” she trailed off, her eyes rolling, “even better.”

“Right,” he said, scrunching up his nose.

Taking a deep breath, he exhaled slowly, annoyed that he was so damn nervous to ask for her number.  He hadn’t asked yesterday for obvious reasons.  No one with half a brain cell would share information that might turn into a slew of unsolicited dick pics from classy strangers showing up in their texts.  But after an actual date?  More specifically, a good date wherein he had hopefully destroyed any “is this a stalker-type guy” concerns in her head…?

“It’s what I get for being a pathological procrastinator,” Sigyn groaned, pushing her hair behind her ears one at a time with her left hand.

The movement reminded Loki that she hadn’t yet released his right hand.  Eyes flicking down to look at it, he pulled his bottom lip through his teeth, his heart skipping several beats at the sight of her fingers lacing with his.  He looked up, meeting her unreal silver eyes once again.  It was on the tip of his tongue—the offer to walk her back to her building.  If she said yes, that would be a solid indicator that she wanted to give him her number.  He eyed the sky, scowling a bit.  It was bright enough out here for her to safely go anywhere alone, removing any archaic chivalrous excuse to stick by her side.  Absent that, she probably wouldn’t be comfortable leading a man directly to her apartment after just one date, and he could hardly fault her for that.

Not that I’m the kind of man that she needs to fear…

“I want to see you again, Sigyn,” he finally admitted, relieved that he’d managed to keep his voice steady, then held up a hand, “only if the feeling is mutual, of course.”

The brightest smile in the history of everything split her face wide open, her eyes crinkling at the corners. “Um…” she paused, pressing her lips together, still grinning, “yeah, the feeling’s definitely mutual, Loki.”  To say the least—good god, if this man knew how much she wanted to see him again, he might walk back his offer out of concern for his safety.

Lowering his eyes for a split second, Loki bit into a smile.

THANK GOD.

“Good,” he said, the somersaults in his stomach making his head spin. “I need to have a look at my calendar before I set a specific date and time,” he added, letting go of her hand to reach into his pocket and pull out his phone.

However, he stopped when she abruptly pushed up onto her toes and pulled him into a full-body hug, her arms winding around his shoulders.  Mouth falling open, somewhat shocked, but mostly thrilled with the sudden gloriously close contact, he returned the hug in full.  He wrapped his arms tightly around her ribs, careful to keep his hands in PG-rated areas only.  Oh god, but her hips were pressing directly into his…

Absolutely not, LO! Initiating anything further on your part would be positively MORONIC. 

I KNOW.

Without considering the possibly…awkward…position it would put him in, Sigyn turned her head, burying her nose into his neck, just below his ear.  Good lord, he smelled amazing.  Was that cologne?  Shampoo?  Shaving cream?  She was two seconds from legitimately putting her mouth on this man’s throat, when she heard him inhale sharply.  Blinking rapidly, she immediately pulled away, scolding herself for being a thirsty, self-absorbed, inconsiderate woman.

“Sorry,” she muttered, her face burning, “it was just…you know-” she waved a hand “-a really good hug.  Got carried away.”

Scratching the back of his neck, he raised an eyebrow, then dropped his hand. “I’m not complaining.”

Feeling like she was on the verge of a heart attack, she lowered her eyes, grinning stupidly at the pavement.  She couldn’t believe she’d met this guy.  He was basically her dream boy…or…man…whatever.

“Don’t suppose you’d be willing to give your number to me?” he asked, 1000% confident that Sigyn would happily give it to him now.

HA! You WISH she would “give it to you” now, LO.

Well, maybe not right here on the street.

“Absolutely,” she said, smiling wide as he unlocked his phone and pulled up his contacts.  He held his phone out for her, and she eyed the “new contact” screen.  Rather than take it from his hand and enter her information, she blindly unzipped her bag, keeping her eyes on his as she fished around for a pen.

He tilted his head, confused.  When she produced a pen and stepped closer to him again, nearly closing the distance completely, his brain finally put two and two together.

Oh my god, she is NOT going to write her number on my hand.

Sigyn took his phone, slid it back into his jacket pocket, grabbed his hand, and flipped it over.  Clicking her pen, she wrote a series of numbers on his palm.  It was a good thing that she was too focused on her task to notice his eyes glazing over like a simpleton.  Or to see the hearts swirling around his head.  This girl would be the death of him.

You are 33, LO.  Act like it.

I’ll do whatever I want!

He eyed his palm as she signed her name beneath the numbers.  She’d written “Sig” (oh, he liked that), adding an extra flourish to the loop of the ‘g’ and underlining it.  His fingers felt like they were on fire as she blew on the ink.  He couldn’t help but stare at her lips as she used her magical mouth powers against his last few braincells.  Rolling his eyes at the phrasing of that thought, he pushed his free hand through his hair.  Magical mouth powers…heaven help him.

She finally released his hand and smiled up at him. “There you go.”

“How very old school of you,” Loki said, looking at her handwriting one last time before carefully pocketing his hand. “I’ll text you my number, then call you after I’ve had a better look at my schedule.”

“I shall wait with bated breath,” she replied theatrically, immediately cringing at the sound (ugh, DORK) then started to hug him again, but stopped herself and stepped back instead.

He’d already basically admitted that he really enjoyed that hug, and that was not good.  Well, no, it was extremely good, just for the wrong reasons.  If she tried that shit again, she’d end up dragging him back to her place to live out her “carry me up the stairs” fantasy, which as much as she wanted to, she should not do on a first date with someone that she was already feeling this emotionally connected to.  As much as she would kill to hit the gas with Loki Odinson, it was in her best interest to not push it with him.

Before she could change her mind, she turned on her heel, and rounded the corner back onto Prince Street.  She would walk straight home and bury herself in her little architect worldin technical drawings and 3D models and what not.  Well, first she needed a cold shower because she was dying.  But after that…work!

THE NEW YEAR FEVER DREAMS SAGA

A LOKI+SIGYN MODERN AU SERIES

NEON DAYDREAMS CONTINUES IN CHAPTER THREE: MOONROOF SEROTONIN.

Visit the Neon main page HERE.

Neon Daydreams Chapter Links: 1Caffeine Fireworks 2Silver Heart Eyes 3Moonroof Serotonin 4Wayfarer Winter 5(December 2021) 6(January 2022) 7TBD 8TBD 9TBD 10TBD 11TBD 12TBD


CHAPTER TWO THEME SONGS:

I Like Me Better (Ryan Riback Remix)” by Lauve (for Loki)

Plot Twist” by NIKI (For Sig)

What Readers Have Said

About CH 2 “Silver Heart Eyes”

“VdshhgdfhytjtegfebfdbDGgfmhthfdfdsfJyukgheithfdfwefrfwHhgnvdvdsfrytrhffdfgAgjytdhrgrsfgJudSeryJuyureffmuykGGgtm”

-Burningarbitterheart, on CH 2 “Silver Heart Eyes” (AO3)

“The chapter in which Sig is all of us. Seriously that man’s voice and hands should be illegal. And his eyes, and mouth, and…. Ok EVERYTHING, everything about him is too much for we mere mortals.”

-Ferbette, on CH 2 “Silver Heart Eyes” (AO3)

“I quite like the ‘happy’ vibe in the story, NYSH was a masterpiece but I love my fluff 😁❤❤

-Bullla, on CH 2 “Silver Heart Eyes” (AO3)

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